It’s my birthday today so indulge me to offer three bits of unsolicited, 37-year-old wisdom:
1. The only person or thing worthy of worship is yourself.
2. You are a whole person and you don’t need any one or any thing to complete you.
3. No one has all the answers. Anyone or any thing, such as a book or a group, which claims to have the answers is deceiving you, and probably trying to suppress you. Run the other way.
As of today I have been alive for 31 years. Typically I’d have more to write about today but after last year’s milestone birthday, 31 is a bit underwhelming. I have had lots of reflections about getting older lately and I feel positive about it; all I can do is try to make less mistakes and be a better person. Most of all, I’m proud that I’ve somehow avoided a criminal record, children, diseases and regrets after 31 years of living well.
Of all the days of the year, my birthday is by far my favourite. It’s the only day that really belongs to me and is thus an excuse to celebrate myself – to hold parties in my honour and spend money on things I may not normally purchase. Today, I got a new tattoo and the Atoms For Peace AMOK album in deluxe edition on vinyl, plus I’m treating a friend who has been very kind to me to an experimental theatre show at one of my favourite venues ever, The Roundhouse. Not bad for a Monday birthday.
I received some really nice wishes today and thought I should share the best ones on here:
My best friend Shawna, who I Skype’d with last night, in the hour before I turned thirty, welcomed me by proclaming “Now you’re thirty, flirty and thriving!” I don’t know if she made this up or not, but naturally, I found it hilarious.
From my Dad, who rarely emails me:
“30 years old WoW! You’re getting up there. Proud of your bravery in discerning your passion in life. Keep up the great, exciting work, even if some of it concerns MOM, Go4IT. LOVE DAD”
From my British friend Clementine, who is probably the quirkiest person I know in London, if not the world:
“Happy Birthday you Canadian Hunk of Spunk. After 30 years you’ve crossed continents, entertained Olympians & worn a bow tie. Well done & here’s to many more. We salute you.”
The best wish, by far, was a video from two of my best friends, Shannon and Michelle, covering the Bon Iver song “Blood Bank.” I won’t post it here – they asked me not to share it – but it was a really touching and surprising gesture. Here’s the original version of the song:
Ultimately and undeniably, it’s nice to know that people care about me – and that’s why birthdays are important. Despite the signs of ageing and quickening of time, I have no shortage of love in my life.
2 years ago, I thought it would be fun to compile a list of my Top 28 Music Artists on my 28th birthday. Last year, I did a list of my Top 29 Albums. I love making lists and while I wouldn’t necessarily put those artists/albums in the same order now, I consider it to be an interesting snapshot of my tastes at the time. In honour of my 30th birthday today, I’ve compiled my Top 30 Songs. This was a more challenging list than the previous ones but I’m pretty happy with what I’ve come up with. As usual, if you’re lucky enough to be in a Spotify-enabled country (sorry Canadians), you can stream it below.
1. “Street Spirit” – Radiohead
2. “Two Rights Make One Wrong” – Mogwai
3. “Round Here” – Counting Crows
4. “Idioteque” – Radiohead
5. “The Sound of Silence” – Simon and Garfunkel
6. “Two Headed Boy” – Neutral Milk Hotel
7. “American Pie” – Don McLean
8. “Heartbeats” – The Knife
9. “Misunderstood” – Wilco
10. “Naveed” – Our Lady Peace
11. “Epic” – Faith No More
12. “Superstition” – Stevie Wonder
13. “Yellow Ledbetter” – Pearl Jam
14. “Two Headed Boy Part Two” – Neutral Milk Hotel
15. “Nautical Disaster (live version)” – The Tragically Hip
16. “Walking Alone” – Green Day
17. “Miasmal Smoke and the Yellow-Bellied Freaks” – Wintersleep
18. “New Joker” – Ladyhawk
19. “Swallowed” – Bush
20. “Love Is A Place” – Metric
21. “Bridge Over Troubled Water” – Simon and Garfunkel
22. “This Years Love” – David Gray
23. “Nothing Ever Happens” – Del Amitri
24. “Symbolistic White Walls” – Matthew Good Band
25. “Teardrop” – Massive Attack
26. “Nightswimming” – R.E.M.
27. “Every Breath You Take” – The Police
28. “Emotion Sickness” – Silverchair
29. “Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!” – Do Make Say Think
30. "Lovely Allen" – Holy Fuck
I am currently 2.5 hours away from turning 30. I have been referring to it as “The Precipice,” mainly because I love that word (and it’s also the title of a bad ass Mogwai song, hear it below) but I also see it as an important milestone – the point of no return into adulthood, or something. I don’t feel old nor do I act like an “adult” all the time but I suppose there’s no denying it now. As my friend and business partner Chris said to me last night, “You’re either getting older or dead.” My desire for the life I want is stronger than ever and the start of another decade has increased my desperation (and that’s not necessarily a bad thing). I don’t have forever, you know!?
The nicest thing about getting older is that I know myself better and I am better at taking care of myself. I was telling Iris yesterday that my life in London is so simple – the range of things I do here are quite limited and I don’t have an expansive social network. More importantly, I have full control of my inputs. That’s the best way I can think of describing it but in other words, I purposefully restrict the things I am exposed to. Not just the experiences I have and the people I surround myself with, but everything in my frame of view. Things that will affect me. It’s taken me a long time to admit and accept that I’m a very sensitive person. I’m not emotional but I am very sensitive to and perceptive of what’s around me. I am especially perceptive of people’s energies and how my own energy/confidence/mood can be altered by others. Because of this sensitivity, I purposely limit what I expose myself to, in order to avoid disrupting the comfortable/confident/happy bubble I live in. For example, I rarely read the news and I am fairly ignorant of current events. Obviously the internet, especially Facebook, makes this ignorance difficult to maintain – and I’m not militant about it – but I honestly think it makes me a happier person. A more specific example, and this happened recently, is shutting out all forms of negativity. I am a fairly optimistic person almost all the time, so I refuse to let other people’s negativity touch me. Someone’s mean remark, unconstructive criticism, hostility, bad attitude – this stuff affects me, probably moreso than it ever should, and I can’t tolerate it. My enduring sense of hope is what allows me to take risks and it cannot be shattered, as much as the world may try.
Bring on the next decade.